Anyone who knows me knows I love the movies. I love movies more than just about anything. I also love Star Wars. Easily one of the longest passions of my life, except for movies. Which is why I went to see Episode III in the theater today (for the second time).
I went to a theater near my house that runs second-run films. Paid my money and got my seat. Second row from the back wall, pretty good seats. Behind me is a guy in his late twenties and some 6 year old kid, who are talking about nothing, really. Fine, I thought. As long as they shut up during the movie, I don't care.
About five minutes before the film started, a whole group of about twenty people came in all at once. A group of four of them split off; a dad and three 10-year old boys.
OF COURSE, they had to sit in front of me. And of course, the kids had to be goofing around. Fine, I thought. As long as they shut up during the movie, I don't care.
Previews start. Or rather, preview. One preview. Then the 20th Century Fox logo came up. Completely off on the vertical control. The idiot running the booth tries to fix it and only succeeds enough to get most of the picture on screen. Most, but not all of it. Good for him. One problem. The sound is terrible. I heard it during the preview, and it hasn't gotten better. It's a multi-speaker surround system, and it sounds like we're only using one. I even played with my ear, thinking that maybe it was just me. Nope.
During the awesome action scene that opens the movie, the sound was so bad that the dialogue was almost unintelligible. The video was scratchy and blotted. This is a movie recorded with all digital cameras. What the fuck?! But I paid my money, and hey, maybe it'll get better. At least the kids around me (front and back) are quiet.
Two hours later, I was miserable. The film was great. Don't get me wrong, it was excellent. The experience sucked. Guy and kid behind me got up and left and returned no less than three times during the film. Each time, the guy had to put his keys on the ground, making a massive racket. Kids in front of me got up a couple of times for refils. People throughout the theater checked cell phone clocks, igniting flashes of light in the theater. Some asshole in the front had his phone ring and answered it. Annoying, but I can deal.
Movie's almost done. Padme's getting ready to go to Mustafar, Obi-Wan's getting ready to fight Vader, Yoda's getting ready to fight Palpatine. Best part of the movie.
OF COURSE THE EXPERIENCE WOULD GET WORSE!
This dad and two boys came in. They decided that the seats DIRECTLY behind me were the perfect spot. I tried to give them the benefit of a doubt. I really tried. Maybe, I thought, maybe they lost their other seats to some other prick, and these were the only seats they could find in the dark.
BUUULLLLLLLLLSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!
All throughout the end of the film, they were making a racket. Whatever kid that was behind me decided that my seat was the best place for his feet. One of the kids kept asking questions "Is he already Vader?" "He's turning to the dark side!". This went on until the end of the movie. I still tried to keep my benefit of a doubt.
Credits roll. Everyone gets up to leave. Kids behind me kick my seat harder, as I'm trying to watch the credits (yes, I'm that type of prick). One of them says "Well, we saw about 15 minutes of a two and a half hour movie." I nearly lost it. It took everything I had not to turn around and chew the heads off all three of them.
OF COURSE YOU ONLY SAW 15 MINUTES. YOU DON'T COME INTO A MOVIE AT THE VERY END, YOU FUCKING RETARDS!!!!!!!!!!
They left, leaving me with three or four other people. The credits end, and a title card comes up, showing the rating of the movie. Then the surround sound kicks in. It took around two and a half hours for the sound system to start working--the length of the entire movie.
I lost it. I was so furious at the whole situation that I just walked out as fast as I could. I should have demanded my money back. I should have confronted the assholes around me. I should have done something. Instead, I left.
I really don't remember the drive home. It was all a blur of anger. Maybe I should be worried.
This whole situation just proves to me that the theater is not an enjoyable experience any more. With the technology available, you can have such a better experience at home, with just as good, if not better quality. I just don't see paying to see a movie in the theater again. Forget it.
I just wanted to see a damn movie in peace. I guess that's too much to ask for these days.
