Wednesday, October 11, 2006

24AUN is closed

Okay, guys. 24: Altered Universe: the News Site is now closed. All of the posts are here. Thanks!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Hey, I've been working!

Been insanely busy lately, which is why I haven't been around.

Still working on transferring files from the 24AUN site to here. It's taking time, though.

I'll post more when I'm coherent.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Monday, August 07, 2006



It’s something we all have. It’s what we use to protect ourselves from the outside world. Sometimes, having his armor is a good thing. Sometimes, it’s not. The problem with the armor is that, from time to time, the armor itself becomes the very thing we need protecting from. Like some medieval Iron Maiden, we may be shielded from the outside, but on the inside, the armor’s doing its own kind of damage.

Everyone’s armor is different. Some people armor up with food. The drawback to that, of course, is the weight gain and health problems that comes from that. Others armor up with bravado. Just as damaging, given what can happen when the bravado is shattered. Others, like me, armor up with anger.

That is my problem. My issue.

You see, over the years, I learned to deal with the world by getting angry. That doesn’t mean that I was angry all the time; quite the contrary. I spent a lot of time being happy. I would use genetics to excuse my anger. “Hey, I can’t help it. I got this from my father.” It was a bullshit excuse, and I knew it. I couldn’t admit it, but I knew it.

As I got older, the anger got worse. As a kid, I was able to drop the anger quickly. Not as an adult. And it got very bad. While I did laps in a sea of self-delusion, my anger problem built and built.

The M.O. for the anger remained consistent as time went. Something would set me off. Sometimes it was something big. Other times, something relatively small. Whatever it was, it was almost always pointless. Useless. Something I couldn’t change. Deep down, I knew I couldn’t change what I was getting upset at. That fact frustrated me. The frustration then fed the anger. Then, something inside me realized how stupid this frustration was, and I would get more frustrated at that. Essentially, I would get angry, then the anger would feed itself. It became self-perpetuating and would just continue to build and build. It didn’t take long for the anger to reach the point where I would lose rational thought. I didn’t know I had lost it; I thought I was being perfectly rational. But my rationality was nowhere near being rational.

Now, all of that makes it sound a little like the anger was controlling me. That I had no part in it. It sounds like I’m passing the blame onto anger itself. But there’s one terrible truth in all of this that leaves me totally and completely culpable for the anger and everything that resulted from it.


I enjoyed being angry. I liked the feeling it gave me. It was a false sense of power; of control; of intelligence. Uncertainty and self-doubt were blasted away in one white-hot second. I KNEW what I was doing was right. I knew exactly what to do, when to do it, and I was happy that I did. There were times that, when my anger started to wane, I would feed it intentionally. I’d bring up past incidents that had angered me, and draw on the still-lingering anger to feed the present. And sadly, the anger was still there. I never let it go. I didn’t want to let it go. Even when I calmed down and moved on, I kept the anger buried deep inside me so that on the next occasion, I could revive it and feed the cycle all over again.

I needed the anger. I needed it to blast away the world. To get rid of self-doubt and loathing. I turned my own problems into fuel for the fire and then aimed the fire at the world.

This Friday, I had an incident where the anger was building. It lasted HOURS. When I finally came down from it, I realized just how much damage it was doing. The armor that I had subconsciously built over 21 years was destroying me, and only now did I realize this.

That ends now.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Attention Star Wars Fans!

Hey, guys. Long-time readers of the site will know that I'm a staff member at NJOE, the New Jedi Order Encyclopedia. I write the character list and timelines for them, and I am one of the co-leaders of the Character Entries section. And right now, NJOE is in need of writers. We're making the push to make the site better than ever before. If you're interested, go check out the site (NJOE) and contact Acky, the head of the site. From there, it's an easy process to get started as a writer for the site.

Here are the positions available (as posted at NJOE):

Characters - 4 Positions Available
Work as part of a larger character writing team under the lead of two Character Leads. Writers may make preferences and choices for characters but will also have some characters assigned; will write all variety of characters from those that appear in one or two books to those that appear in fifteen or twenty. The goal here is that every character on the "Character List" will have a bio entry, so there are over 600 (and growing) characters that need entries. Great sense of community working with your fellow writers. Characters will come from NJO, Dark Nest, and Legacy of the Force. We'll work around some situations but a lot of entries will be coming from the NJO. GL24 Note: we REALLY need the help here. There's only three official writers for the section, with three more undergoing the testing process. That's six writers for 600-1000 entries...any help you can give us would be great.

Battles - 2 Positions Available
Run in a similar fashion to the Characters section where a team of writers work under the leadership of the Battles Lead. Writers will work on battles from NJO, Dark Nest, and Legacy of the Force.

The writer for this section will identify terms in the NJO, Dark Nest, and Legacy of the Force that might be confusing to someone who does not have an intimate knowledge of Star Wars.

This section will have entries about the planets visited in the NJO, Dark Nest, and Legacy of the Force. The writer will eventually work with the Galaxy Map Design Team to make sure that every planet on the map has an entry in the Planets section.

Interested writers should contact me (Acky) at [make sure to reply to the automated message to get around my spam filter - if you do not reply to the automated message, your e-mail will not be delivered]. There is a small testing phase for all writers before becoming full staff. Don't hesitate to contact if you have questions or would like more information.

Got that, guys. Any questions can be directed to Acky or myself.

"Help us, Star Wars fans. You're are only hope."

A Second Hello

Okay, guys. This blog is going to be back up and running soon! Yeah! With 24AU done, I'm gonna be rebuilding this blog from the ground up. My goal is to have this working in conjunction with my Star Wars blog (GL24's Expanded Universe, which is also going to be getting some more renovations. So watch this space! It's going to be changing soon.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

(Refuge Blog) The word of the day is f*&!#@

I'm at my desk at work right now, trying to get some stuff done. In the room next door--about 15 feet away--a construction crew is doing everything they can to pound on the wall in uniquely loud ways. Oh, and my bottle of tylenol is at home.

Son of a b....

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

(Refuge Blog) Mind Pong 2

Wow. Two blog entries in one day. SHOCKING!

Caught some of Jay and Michelle today.

Now, I'll say this; it wasn't necessarily BAD radio. It held my attention for the time I listened to it. It just wasn't good radio either. It was the vanilla pudding of radio. Just kinda there if you want it, but who wants vanilla when there's a nice bowl of chocolate sitting near by? I don't miss Gregg Henson as much as I thought I was going to. Yeah, I miss the relationship he had with Michelle, the on-air chemistry and all that, but when it comes right down to it, Henson was just a bitter balding bastard. Entertaining enough when he was on but not so integral to the show that he's needed now.

The middays slot on KRK seems to be filled with hatred. Not on the hosts's part, but on the fans'. See, every time a new show comes on, the fans of the show that was on before instantly bash the new show. Then, when the show builds an audience and leaves, all of the fans of the show, plus the ones from the show before, bash the next new show. Fans of K+T bashed S+C. Fans of S+C bashed G+M. Fans of G+M bash J+M. It's just how it goes. I'm not one of any of these levels of fans; I missed out on K+T. Didn't like S+C. Enjoyed G+M but not enough to bash J when G was fired by the heads at CBS. And when K, J, H, and S got captured by the O and M+W got sent home on a B I was really riveted to the edge of my seat, even after E, D, and L almost got killed by the EMP or whatever it was.


Where was I?

Ah, yes. The vanilla pudding of radio. Like I said, I can listen to MCM (again with the acroynyms!) now if it's on, but it's not the best. Nor am I going to start bashing it like...well, everyone who's been a long time middays listener of WKRK. I suppose because when I lose interest in MCM, I can always switch over to Sirius and catch the Stern show.

Hey, if MCM is vanilla pudding, Stern is a stripper covered in whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

And we all LOVE that mental image, don't we?

(Refuge Blog) Mind Pong

Huh. I seem to be yelling in a void here, based on the results of last entry. I guess that means that I can say whatever I want about everyone on this board and no one will react, since they're not reading it. FUN!

Kidding. I would never do that. I wouldn't talk about anyone on this board behind their back. To their face, sure (I think my Tom fight in the old King Kong thread kinda proved that...), but not behind their back...

I wish I could say something interesting right now, but my brain's kinda fried. Doing the work of two people this week, because the other person is out on vacation. I have to cover for her. Kinda sucks, but at least no one's gonna bother me, since I'm so busy *roll eyes*.

As you can see, I'm all over the place now. On my second can of Red Bull for the morning....I can feel the energy just rushing through my veins.

You ever wonder why, in a bank of flourescent lights, there's ALWAYS one light that's off-color from the rest? It's always a little darker than the others. It's like it's embarrassed to be there or something.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

(Refuge Blog) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Saw DMC a little over a week ago and it rocked. I finally went and re-watched Curse of the Black Pearl. Something I noticed:




Alright--at the end of DMC, in one of the coolest twist endings ever, Barbossa returns. This ending ranks in my top ten film endings...


He DIED at the end of the first movie!

"I feel....COLD."


When At World's End comes out next summer, I hope they explain how the dead Captain is alive to walk down the stairs there.....

Monday, July 17, 2006

(Refuge Blog) Life, business and other shit (Part 3)

"Welcome to your new job. You start Wednesday."

With that, I had less than two days to pack up my stuff in the branch and get moved on into the main location of the library. It didn't even sink in with me. I figured I'd be back at the branch within a week, maybe two.

I figured wrong.

I was brought in for the purpose of working on the library website. Of course, they didn't have the equipment ready for me, so I was put in the odd position of being an assistant in the Marketing Department. I wasn't a complete part of the department, but I wasn't part of the website, either. Either way, with the new job, I knew I had to leave the board. I just had to.

Over the course of the next two months (ish), I worked on getting acclamated to the new position. It was wildly different than anything I'd ever experienced in the branch. Finally, little contact with the public (anyone who spends any amount of time with me usually comes to the realization that I can't stand people), a desk job with a computer. Very cool. So I survived. I finished 24AU, published it *cough*shamelessplug*cough*, and moved on to another long term project I had never finished.

But by the end of June, I found myself yearning for this site. I just wanted to come back. I missed everyone (including Tom and Brodie). After conferring with a few friends, I made the decision.

I was coming home.

Now, I'm still working in my semi-new position, getting used to life at the main location. I'm still waiting to get plugged in to the website, and I'm working on learning the new programs. I had to learn Microsoft Access from scratch (a bitch and a half), and I'm starting in on DreamWeaver. I'm now working at my desk at work, switching between this site and my work in Access while listening to Howard Stern's Sirius show on my earphones.

Oh, and did I mention that I got a raise?

Life is good.

Yeah, life is good.

Friday, July 14, 2006

(Refuge Blog) Life, business and other shit (Part 2)

With 24: Altered Universe coming to a close and the necessity of increasing my writing time coming up quick, I was coming toward the decision to leave the board. My work life was about to cement that decision.

Before I can tell that tale, though, I need to tell a little background. At my job, one of my diversions was to create...things...that would help improve the library (and kept me entertained). Some of these things were flyers advertising the library's events, others were signs pointing to sections of the library. One big one was a revolutionary new system of signing patrons onto our computers. With our Computer Tech, I created a whole new process for the computer sign-ins. And it worked! Three months into using this system (March-ish), at the advice of our staff association, we sent a letter to the bigwigs of the system talking about the new program.

We heard nothing back.

As time went on, after years of bitching about the lack of updates to our branch's page of the website, I finally sat down and created a blog for the branch. Simple, but a nice way to connect to the community. More...things.

In April, I attended an awards ceremony for someone at work. While I was there, my aunt (also a library employee) introduced me to the second highest-ranked person in the library system. One of the people we sent the letters to. Unable to resist, I asked her about it. She said she saw it, but as the system works, things weren't going to come out of it for a while. So, while I was there, I mentioned the blog. She told me she wanted to see it, but I couldn't write anything down at the time, so I couldn't give it to her.

About a week later, I e-mailed her the link to the blog. I thought nothing of it. Time went on, I began to make the decision to leave the Refuge. happened.

One late Thursday night, just minutes before we closed, I got a phone call from the woman. She told me to call the next day to make an appointment to come in to meet her on the following Monday. Stammering, flabbergasted and downright hornswaggled, I could only say sure. The next day, I made the appointment.

Monday I went in to meet with her. From what she had said over the phone, it sounded like I was going in for a job interview.

It wasn't an interview.

It was "Welcome to your new job. You start Wednesday."


Thursday, July 13, 2006

(Refuge Blog) Life, business and other shit (Part 1)

It's been about two months since I left and now I'm back. Why? Why'd I leave, why am I back, and why should you care?

Well, I can't answer that last question, but I can start in on the first two.

Okay, two months ago. Early May. My life was changing big time. Over the course of the previous 6-8 months, I'd been trying to get healthier. Changed my eating habits, started exercizing more--I was losing weight and finally feeling good again. By May I was down about 20 pounds.

At the same time, it became crunch time for 24: Altered Universe. The single largest project I've ever undertaken was coming to its end and I had to finish it. I had to be done by a certain date or it would go on forever. Couldn't let that happen. So I decided to start working on it more and more. If I wasn't at work, I was working on 24:AU. That's it. My deadline was the last Monday in May, one week after the season finale of the show. With a couple episodes to go and time growing short, I had to kick things into high gear.

In the meantime, my working life was about to get a massive shakeup...


Tuesday, June 20, 2006

(24AUN) Final Post

And now, the series is complete. There's nothing left for me to do to it. And thus, there's no more news to post. It's been an amazing ride, writing for this site for the past two years. I'm gonna miss it. I'm glad you guys stuck with it, and 24AU will remain posted at the other site for a long time to come.

Signing off for the last time, this is JackBauer24

This was the final post to the 24AU News Site.

(24AUN) Makes it all worthwhile.

A post I received over at the official 24 Forum.

From: bauerspirit 2:32 pm
To: Your Very Own 24AU Author (JackBauer24) 2 of 6

104826.2 in reply to 104826.1

I confess, I haven't read many of the episodes of this. The sheer size of it is daunting, but i must say that after reading the finale, all i can say is...amazing. You have taken one of the greatest examples of script-writing and television and turned it on its head - creating your own version which could hold its own as the real season.

Well done Sir.

I am so honored. It really makes the work worthwhile. Thanks, Bauerspirit!