JackBauer24's Blog

Just for the helluvit/hallibut, here's a quick listing of my current blogs here at Blogger.

Blog #1: 24: Altered Universe
URL: http://www.jackbauer24.blogspot.com
Opened to the public: September 2004
--The place for info on my long running fan-fic series, 24: Altered Universe

Blog #2: JackBauer24's Star Wars Timeline
URL: http://www.jb24timeline.blogspot.com
Opened to the public: October 2004
Closed: October 2004
--At one point, it was to be a posting location for my Star Wars Timeline. I have since closed it.

Blog #3: JackBauer24's Blog
URL: http://www.jb24.blogspot.com
Opened to the public: October 2004
--My blog, the spot for my thoughts, opinions, and the like. Also known as the blog you're reading RIGHT NOW!

Blog #4: JackBauer24's Reviews
URL: http://www.jb24reviews.blogspot.com
Opened to the public: November 2004
--The one place for my opinions on movies, tv shows, books, etc.

Blog #5: *TITLE WITHHELD FOR PERSONAL REASONS*
URL: *WITHELD FOR PERSONAL REASONS*
Created: December 2004
Opening to the public: March-April 2005
--I'll tell you more about this one later.

Blog #6: The OTHER fiction of JackBauer24
URL: http://www.jb24fiction.blogspot.com
Created: January 2005
Opened to the public: January 2005
--This is a new semi-interactive fiction I'm writing. Check it out!

Posted by JackBauer24 at 3:55 PM | Permalink | Comments

Hey, Merry Christmas everybody. Nothing new to discuss, I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. :)

Posted by JackBauer24 at 3:53 PM | Permalink | Comments

Jackie Brown (1997)
Rated R
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Bridget Fonda

The Plot: When a female flight attendant finds that she is being used by the government to catch her old associate and by the associate to screw the government, she tries her best to screw 'em all.
The Good: This movie is more mellow than Tarantino's previous two, but it is just as good. Full of intrigue and interesting subplots, it's definitely worth seeing.
The Bad: Fans of Tarantino's trademark violence will miss it in this film. His next film more than makes up for it, though.
The Ugly: I feel sorry for Chris Tucker. A little.
The QT Moment: "Wanna fuck?" :D
The Bottom Line: Excellence.
My rating: 5 out of 5.

Kill Bill: Volume One (2003)
Rated R
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox

The Plot: When The Bride is nearly killed at her wedding, she sets out for revenge against the people who did it.
The Good: This movie rocked. It was so cool--action packed, violent, bloody--everything a good R film should be!
The Bad: Nothing I can think of now.
The Ugly: This is without a doubt the bloodiest film I have ever seen, and that is saying a lot!
The QT Moment: Ooh....tough choice. I'd have to say the sequence that ends the film is the best QTM. The last line just gives me chills!
The Bottom Line: Wow.
My Rating: 5 out of 5.


Kill Bill Volume 2 (2004)
Rated R
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Michael Madsen

The Plot: The Bride continues her quest to find and kill Bill.
The Good: This movie is very cool. It's not as action-packed or as bloody as Volume One, but that is a good thing in this case. It plays so well throughout, and is a great example of the master at work.
The Bad: Nothing really.
The Ugly: The eye thing. The eye thing. The eye thing.
The QT Moment: I'd like to say the eye thing, but the true QTM of this film is The Bride's confrontation with Bill (Oh, come on. Like you didn't know that was coming!). It's startlingly unique, and insanely interesting, with a conclusion that is somehow satisfying despite the buildup of the two films.
The Bottom Line: A great topper to this excellent series.
My Rating: 5 out of 5.

Okay, I was gonna have some big conclusions here about the entire QT saga, but at this point, I'm too tired of typing to type it. Bottom line is that QT is one of the best directors ever, and he makes a damn interesting movie.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 6:26 PM | Permalink | Comments

I'm putting 24: Altered Universe on hiatus.

Starting today, I am putting 24AU aside for a little while. I've been having too many problems lately, both working on it, and in my private life, to be able to work on it. I figure I will get back to work on it after Christmas.

On hiatus, this is JackBauer24.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 9:48 AM | Permalink | Comments

Due to the new DSL, my computer is on the fritz. I'm on the verge of losing EVERYTHING on it, including 24: Altered Universe. Because of this, I will not be posting here or on any of my blogs much in the coming weeks. I'm doing what I can to save 24AU. Wish me luck.

JackBauer24

Posted by JackBauer24 at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comments

Quentin Tarantino is a madman.
Quentin Tarantino is a genius.

Chances are, you hold one of those views. He's either f'in nuts or f'in brilliant, as my friend would say. Well, risking my very sanity, I spent two weeks watching all five of his major films--Reservior Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill Volume 1, and Kill Bill Volume 2. By the time I'm finished, I'll be able to tell you what I think of him.


Reservior Dogs (1992)
Rated R
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen

The Plot: When a robbery goes horribly wrong, the surviving criminals must figure out what's left, and what to do about it.
The Good: This is a great movie. It has a very cool visual tone, the dialogue is perfect for the film, and the music choices are just brilliant. I liked it a lot.
The Bad: It slows down at a few points, but it still managed to keep my interest from beginning to end.
The Ugly: "Stuck in the Middle With You" (see below)
The QT Moment: I maintain that in every Quentin Tarantino film, there is at least one scene that will stick with you long after you finish watching it. The QT Moment, as I call it. RD's QTM is the afore-mentioned Stuck in the Middle with You scene, where Mr. Blonde (Madsen) tortures a captive cop (Kirk Baltz) to the classic tune. You'll never look at that song the same again.
The 24 Connection: Kirk Baltz played disgruntled sniper Teddy Hanlin in the show's first season.
The Bottom Line: Reservior Dogs is a very cool movie. It's graphic--very graphic--but still a classic flick.
My Rating: 5 out of 5.


Pulp Fiction (1994)
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman

The Plot: A series of interlocking stories centered around the criminal associates of a kingpin played by Ving Rhames.
The Good: Pulp Fiction is definitely very cool. It's just got this great style about it that makes the movie a lot of fun. There's a lot to like here.
The Bad: I've always said that PF is like a stalling car--it starts, then it stops, then it starts again. This film is just filled with moments that are BORING. The boredom is punctuated by some explosive event, but it just doesn't help with the movie.
The Ugly: Poor Marvin.
The QT Moment: PF's QTM is the opening scenes between Sam Jackson and "Brad." The dialogue there is everything you'd think it would be, and it's quotable, too! "Mmmmm...now that IS a tasty burger!"
The Bottom Line: PF is a cool thriller that stalls a little in the middle, but picks up momentum for a morbidly funny third act.
My Rating: 4 out of 5.

Coming up next time: Jackie Brown and the Kill Bill films.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 6:25 PM | Permalink | Comments

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
Rated PG
Directed by Kerry Conran
Starring Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Giovanni Ribisi

My Rating: 4 out of 5.

SCatWoT is a great popcorn flick. It's light, it's fun, and it's filled with action--even if it has its flaws. The visual style gives it a cool classic look and paradoxically makes the special effects seem more real. Fans of both late 20th century action films and classics of the 1920s, 30s, and 40s will all find stuff to enjoy about this. The movie also has this great cheese factor--it knows some of it is cheesy, but it doesn't care. For some reason, I like that. This is probably out of most theaters by now, but you can find it on DVD in early January 05.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 6:24 PM | Permalink | Comments

Nothing really new to report. I'm really booking on episode 16. It's almost to the point that it writes itself. Episode 6....not so much. Problem is that I had a lot of problems with the early afternoon hours (eps 6, 7, 8, 9) that I never addressed, and now I have to address them. It's going to be a little problem.

Another problem is this damn DSL! We just got DSL, and because it's so fast, I end up sitting online instead of actually working on 24:AU!

I've got a couple of new previews in the work. I'll post them in the next couple of days.

I'll leave you with a quote from Futurama's eternal maternal antagonist--Mom.

"Damn this DSL!"

Posted by JackBauer24 at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comments

My favorite radio show, The Deminski and Doyle Show (on Live! 97.1 FM) is doing a contest where people can call in with dysfunctional Christmas songs to win a cash prize. I came up with one that was a little um...not ready for the FCC, and I e-mailed it to them. I got a response--they said it was funny (but not FCC appropriate). Here's the parody, and just remember that it's really graphic. Love that imagery.

I Saw Daddy Licking Santa Claus
(to the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus")

I saw Daddy licking Santa Claus
right between his cheeks so bright and white

They didn't hear me creep
through the man-juice three feet deep.
They thought that I was still up in my bedroom beatin' th' meat.

I saw Daddy tickle Santa Claus
right under his big, round, hairy, white--

Oh, what a scene it would have been,
if Mommy had only seen Daddy licking Santa Claus last night.


I think I'm missing a chorus or two, but there's the basic parody. I'll leave you guys with a quote from Comedian Ron White, which I think fits this song quite nicely.

"Comedy's not always pretty, folks. Every once in a while, somebody'll get tongue-fucked in the ass right in the middle of a humorous situation."


UPDATE: I got a veiled mention on the D&D show today!!! They opened the show and mentioned the contest, then said that they were getting a little worried about the actual entries, after seeing the e-mails. Then they mentioned that "licking" would probably not get on, and that "apparantly some people's idea of dysfunction involves perverted forms of sex." I was quite happy to hear that--they were mentioning me!! I'll update again if they mention it again when they get to the song parody segment of the show.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 1:10 PM | Permalink | Comments

The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
Rated R
Directed by Jonathan Lynn
Starring Matthew Perry, Bruce Willis, Amanda Peet, Michael Clarke Duncan, Rosanna Arquette, Natasha Henstridge, Kevin Pollak

The Whole Nine Yards is a dark comedy where Dentist Nicholas Oseranski (Perry) discovers that his new neighbor is a hit man. Suddenly he finds himself in the middle of a situation where everyone's plotting against everyone else, and few people can survive.
TWNY is a potentially off-the-wall comedy that falls somewhat short of its goal. The paranoia style of this movie is perfect for Perry, whose Oz is virtually identical to Chandler Bing. I'm not saying that all actors must make each role totally unique, but Perry--who I LIKE in Friends--doesn't even try to play anything different. I think he could be considered a good actor if he actually tried. Bruce Willis tries hard here, but he falls short of believablility. Some of the movie's comedy relies on everyone--even the viewer--believing that Willis will kill Matthew Perry by the end, but with this, you never really believe it. The rest of the class is pretty good, but I have no idea what the hell accent Kevin Pollack was trying for; and it doesn't work.
My biggest problem with this problem with this movie is that the jokes in it are very sitcomish, and they don't work in a movie. I swear that if I ever see another person run into a glass door, I'll kill them.

3 out of 5

Posted by JackBauer24 at 6:23 PM | Permalink | Comments

Like I said yesterday, I finished episode 15. Started 16 today. I'm finishing episode 5, too.

--12 days until my 1 year anniversary working on 24: AU!

Posted by JackBauer24 at 4:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

Got another status update. I just finished episode 5. Now it's time to go on to episode 6. What's significant about this is that I am now finished with the scripts I had written earlier this year, and I'm moving on to the outline I started last May. It's a good thing.

Stats on my COMPLETE OUTLINE (so far):

68 pages.
21796 words
almost 4 months running.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 9:51 AM | Permalink | Comments