Thursday, May 26, 2005

(24AUN) GODDAMMIT! GODDAMMIT! GODDAMMIT!

I can't belive this! I just spent over two hours working on Episode 3's script. Got more than ten minutes of it written, and the program froze and I lost E V E R Y T H I N G I had updated. It's as if I did nothing all night tonight. I can't fucking believe it. All that work...GONE! And I don't have the time, and certainly not the patience, to go back and re-type it tonight. Maybe I can work on it again tomorrow.

GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

(24AUN) IT. IS. HERE.

Episode 1 of 24: Altered Universe is now here!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.24au.blogspot.com

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

(24AUN) Status 5/24

How appropriate that this is getting posted on the 24th. Well, I finished Episode 2, so you know what that means:

24: Altered Universe is ready to go public!!!

I just have some minor editing problems with the script (it seems that Blogger and my script software are not compatible) to fix, and it should be online no later than Friday. It's finally here.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

It's done.

Well, it's over. I have seen Star Wars- Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

All I can say is WOW.

This is definitely the best of the prequels, probably the second best Star Wars film overall. Simply stunning. I'm only slightly ashamed that I cried during the movie. It was just so good. The movie that people have been waiting for.

Go see it. It is so good that I can't even put it into words.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Shameless plug

go to blogs.starwars.com/JackBauer24. No www. at the front.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Retro Review: Memorial Day

Okay, this is a review I wrote for the book Memorial Day by Vince Flynn. You can find it on the page for MD on barnesandnoble.com.

JackBauer24, a thriller fan from Metro Detroit, June 7, 2004,
Average
This book is entertaining enough, but there is nothing about it that makes it stand out. The whole terrorist-with-a-nuke storyline was done better in Tom Clancy's novel (not the movie, the novel), The Sum of All Fears, and in the second season of the television show 24. If that storyline is all that is drawing you to this book, check out SOAF or 24 instead. The book's lowest points come during the briefing scenes about the nuke, which were supposed to come out as tense and nerve-racking, but instead seem tedious and unnecessary, especially because Rapp tended to ignore the events of the briefing--the scenes could probably have been dropped without losing much of the story. The book's strongest points are in the scenes of interrogation, which are as intense as I've seen before, but these are too few to lift the book. The book's storyline was predictable, and the few surprises it offered were not enough to lift it. Normally a champion for the hero stopping the nuke, I found myself wishing that the bomb would just go off, if only to break the predictability. Rapp seemed to me to want to break the rules just to break the rules, not because of any desire to actually help the country. Now, I will say that this is my first Mitch Rapp novel, so I'm sure fans of the series will enjoy it. I just didn't see the point of his extreme measures. Bottom Line: The book is entertaining, but it's not good enough to merit the price of the hardcover. Wait until it hits paperback, or better yet, check out something else.
Also recommended: Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan series (The Sum of All Fears especially relates to the subject of this book), 24 [TV SHOW](Seasons 1 and 2 are on DVD-season 3 due on DVD this fall, and season 4 airs in the 04-05 Season)

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Five--no, no--SIX Movie MEGA Review: Kevin Smith

I know this is a long time in coming. Sorry.

The following is the tale of my journey through the nine--no, make that six--levels of hell. Also known as the story of how I became a Kevin Smith fan.

If you've never heard of Kevin Smith, let me tell you that he gained fame during the 90s as he grew from a small independent director out of New Jersey to a Hollywood powerhouse. He ranks with Tarantino as one of the great new directors to come out of the 90s. But were his movies any good? That's what I'm here to tell you.

All of Smith's movies (with the exception of the newest, Jersey Girl) are linked by characters and locations, but the only constant among all of them is the drug-dealing team of Jay and Silent Bob (played by Jason Mewes and Smith himself, respectively). The films are also marked by large quantities of profanity and gross humor. How do they stack up? Here is my review of all six films.

Clerks. (1994)
Rated R
Starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith

The Story
Two convenience store clerks (O'Halloran, Anderson) spend a day stuck at work trying desperately to stave off boredom.

The Good
There's a lot to like here. The characters are interesting, the conversations deep and enjoyable. They actually have insightful discussions on life, relationships, and sex. O'Halloran is endearing as the lead character, while Anderson's strange sense of humor keeps the movie moving.
This movie is also deeper than it seems. There is much here based on Dante's Inferno, from the nine levels of hell break structure to the name of the protagonist himself. It's a nice touch that gives the movie some weight.
There's also the introduction of the two main characters of the series, Jay and Silent Bob. Jay is an extremely foul-mouthed drug dealer and the leader of the two, while Bob remains silently observant right up until the end of the film, where in true film form he gives a poignant speech to help the protagonist with his quandry.
If anything, this film kept my attention for the most part. The conversations kept me wanting to see where else the film would go. This is not without problems, but I'll get to that below.
One thing I should note is that this movie is famous for how cheaply it was made. The director was just a clerk himself at the time, and shot this in black and white.

The Bad
Like the good, the bad is plentiful here. First things first, this is the longest hour and a half movie I've ever seen (boy, that sounded like a Yogi Berra line). The movie just drags on and on! The conversations seem to be endless.
Second, the protagonist Dante is a massive whiner. It gets annoying by the end of the movie because he spends the movie complaining about how he's not supposed to be in the store this day, and how his ex-girlfriend is getting married, and how his girlfriend is...promiscuous. It really gets bad.
The movie, like Dante, has no real direction to it. It just meanders along, hoping to hit some event interesting enough to be worthy of the time. This doesn't happen much.
Finally, the characters of this film are undeniably slow on the uptake. The audience may love a slow thinker, but we have a big problem with serious idiots. For example, there is a moment late in the movie where (not to give anything away), one of the characters thinks they had sex with another character, but said 2nd character knows that isn't true. For about five minutes, they try to figure out who the unknown sex partner is and all the time I was screaming at the screen who it was.

The Ugly
Two uglies here: the results of the discovery of the sex partner mentioned above, and a story Randal (Anderson) tells about his cousin. Sounded painful.

The Bottom Line
Clerks is entertaining enough the first time through, but is too fatally flawed to deserve a second look.

My Rating
3 out of 5.


Mallrats (1995)
Rated R
Starring: Jeremy London, Jason Lee, Shannen Doherty, Claire Forlani (And Mewes and Smith, of course)

The Story
When two best friends are dumped by their girlfriends, they turn to the mall to ease their sorrows. But when they discover their exes shopping there as well, they decide they must win their loves back.

The Good
This, like Clerks, is entertaining in the dialogue and conversations. Unlike Clerks, this is a terrible movie.

The Bad
Most of this movie is just plain awful. It's boring, the characters are barely likeable, J&SB are cartoonish versions of their past selves, and there are portions of this movie that just make me want to retch. I really cannot recommend this movie at all. It is just plain bad.

The Ugly
I will never eat chocolate covered pretzels again.

The Bottom Line
Ugh.

My Rating
2 out of 5


Chasing Amy (1997)
Rated R
Starring: Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Joey Lauren Adams (Mewes and Smith, too)

The Story
A Comic Book writer (Affleck) falls in love with the woman he thinks is his soulmate. One problem. She's a lesbian.

The Good
This is definitely a leap up from Mallrats, and a level higher than Clerks as well. It's well written, and really takes a serious look at this plot. It is a romantic comedy, but it's not a romantic comedy in the Hollywood style. The characters actually address the problems like adults, and there are some moments that are truely inspired. Even Jay and Silent Bob are in a more adult form (Jay even grimaces about his Mallrats catchphrase "Snootchie Bootchies? Who says that?") and SB's speech moment reveals the meaning behind the title Chasing Amy. Oh, and I have to give props to Dwight Ewell, whose character is one of the most quarky but interesting characters I've ever seen.

The Bad
The only bad I can think of is that this movies is pretty slow. And if you're not an Affleck fan, you'll probably hate this.

The Ugly
Holden's plan to fix all the problems comes to a crashing halt that makes you feel embarrased for him.

The Bottom Line
An insightful, interesting comedy, Smith was not yet at his best, but it's definitely a step in the right direction.

My Rating:
3 out of 5


Dogma (1999)
Rating R
Starring: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Chris Rock, Linda Fiorentino, Alan Rickman, Salma Hayek (you know who else by now!)

The Story
When two fallen angels (Affleck and Damon) discover a loophole to get themselves back into heaven, it's up to both the forces of good and evil to stop them.

The Good
This was an excellent movie. It's a great look at the hypocrisy of organized religion, and it's just a good fantasy/comedy. I loved it.

The Bad
It's not for people who can't have a sense of humor about their religion. It was people not understanding this fact that caused the controversy around it when it came out.

The Ugly
The Golgathon. Holy shit, man! Or rather, holy shit-man! (Yes, I know that was a bad pun.)

The Bottom Line
Entertaining and fun, definitely worth a look at.

My Rating: 4 out of 5


Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Rated R
Starring Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Shannon Elizabeth, Will Ferrell

The Story
When they discover that a Bluntman and Chronic movie is being made, our two stoners trek to Hollywood to stop it.

The Good
This is just one long inside joke--made specifically for fans of the last 4 films and, to a lesser degree, the Star Wars films. It's also the funniest movie I have ever seen. Being a fan of both categories, I loved every minute of this. It's cameo-packed to an insane degree, and has a great sense of humor about itself as well. It also has THE BEST STAR WARS PARODY I've ever seen. "Don't fuck with the Jedi Master, son!"

The Bad
This is just one long inside joke--it is not for anyone who hasn't seen the last four films.

The Ugly
Jason Mewes's ass. I don't need to say any more.

The Bottom Line
Terrific for fans of the series, but not for casual viewers.

My Rating: 4 out of five.


Now, for the bonus review, Smith's newest film, Jersey Girl:

I feel DUPED! Kevin Smith is a director of dick and fart joke movies; in other words, GUY films. But about halfway though JG, I realized that this was a CHICK FLICK!

And so help me, I loved it.

I don't know what it is, but it was touching to me. It just seemed more real to me. I suppose I should have seen this coming; Chasing Amy was a chick flick wrapped up Guy Flick language and characters.

Ben Affleck was great in this (yeah, I know. I never thought I'd hear that, either), as is the kid who plays his daughter. George Carlin is terrific as Affleck's dad, and Liv Tyler--I would so want to...

Ahem. Anyhoo, Jersey Girl was a surprisingly good movie that I feel a little bit less masculine for liking. Eh, well. It's just another example of Kevin Smith's talents as a director. He gets better with each new film that comes out (since Mallrats, anway, but that was a step backward for everyone involved) and I can say I'm really looking forward to the next one.


So, there's my insane journey to become a Kevin Smith fan. Six films later, I'm a little more deranged, but it was worth it.

4 out of 5 (my chagrin at having watched a Chick flick will not let me give it any higher).