JackBauer24's Blog

Johnny Mnemonic

I’m not even gonna bother giving this the full treatment. If you care about the rating, director, or "stars," you can find it out yourself, but let me save you the trouble. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time. In addition to bad acting, bad writing, bad sets, and bad costumes, there’s near-satanic imagery and animal cruelty. I cannot emphasize how much of a piece of shit this is. If you have ANY desire to see this movie, consider this: with the exception of Keanu Reeves, Henry Rollins is the biggest "star" of this movie. Henry f’in Rollins! Just don’t even consider this shit.

Rating: 1 out of 5, only because I get the feeling that there is even worse stuff out there than this, and I just can’t leave it to a 0.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 6:31 PM | Permalink | Comments

Hey, I know it's been a while since I posted a review, so I've got to summarize all of the recent stuff I want to review in one sentence.

The Big Lebowski--Trippy, sometimes funny, but not really memorable.

Taking Lives--A decent sex scene does not make up for an hour and a half of crap.

Medstar I: Battle Surgeons by Michael Reaves and Steve Perry--MASH + Star Wars = Good reading!

Max Payne (Xbox)-- Surprisingly fun and deep, with a film noir style and cheezy dialogue.

Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (Xbox)-- One of the top two Star Wars games ever made.

Star Wars: Tales Comic Series-- I was surprised by the entertainment value provided by the mostly non-canon stories.

Nip/Tuck Season 1 DVD (Got it for my birthday!)-- A great set to complement one of TV's best dramas.

MAYBE eventually I'll post deeper reviews of these, but not for a while.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 6:30 PM | Permalink | Comments

Republic Commando: Hard Contact

Author: Karen Traviss
Series: Star Wars
Released: Fall 2004

When does it take place?
About three months after the Battle of Geonosis, or 22 years before the Battle of Yavin.

What's it about?
A squad of clone commandos attempt to take out a Separatist research facility that is preparing to create a deadly virus that could wipe out the clone army.

What's good?
This book is excellent. It's a quick read, a fun read, and just damn interesting. I'd recommend it to anyone.

What's not so good?
The beginning takes a bit to get started, but once it does, like I said before, the book is excellent.

Anything cool?
Lots. What comes to mind is the very-Terminator relationship that develops between Darman and Etain. He is her Kyle Reese, she his Sarah Connor. The parallels are definitely something to look out for.

Worth the cost?
This is a paperback. It's worth it.

How's it end, spoiler-boy?
Not tellin.

You son of a---

My rating?
5 out of 5.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 6:29 PM | Permalink | Comments

Last week's 24 rocked with the return of Tony Almeida! But he was only on screen for like 15 seconds. Tonight, we get to find out what's happened to the federal agent-turned-traitor in the past year and a half. It's gonna be cool!

Posted by JackBauer24 at 2:15 PM | Permalink | Comments

Been too sick the past three weeks to really get anything of substance done on the series, but I did figure out the timeline for 24. This seemed to be the most fitting place to put it.

Operation Nightfall: Spring 2000
Season 1: Spring 2002
Season 2: Late Fall 2003
Season 3: Early Fall 2006
Season 4 Promo Part One: Early 2007
Season 4 Promo Part Two: Early 2008
Season 4 Promo Part Three: Spring 2008
Season 4: Spring 2008

I can explain all of these if you would like me to. Just post a comment, and I will edit this with the explanations (it's a lot of typing. I'm not about to type it out if I don't have to.) :)

Posted by JackBauer24 at 9:44 AM | Permalink | Comments

So yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday. The Big Game. I don't give a shit about football, but I went to a SB party. It was pretty cool. Small--only myself and five other people. We sat around and played cards and watched the game. Overall, it was a nice time. However, I figured out the exact way to piss off our host. You see, our host is extremely liberal. I'm not. She absolutely hates President Bush. I don't. She's frightening sometimes. Somehow, we got onto politics, and I happened to say "I don't think Presdent Bush is the worst possible thing that could happen to this country." You'd think I just told her I beat off to Bush's picture (to clarify, no, I don't). She overreacted a little. Started giving me every reason, mostly filled with false information and conspiracy theories, why George Bush would be worse for this country than Adolf Hitler. Look, I'm not liberal or conservative, but I can't stand when anyone starts to overreact and go extremely liberal or conservative. I mean, she said that George Bush is plotting concentration camps for the United States! That's a little nuts. Eh, well. She apologized for freaking out on me later, and we made up, but it was still pretty freaky.

The party was not all bad. It was actually a lot of fun before she went nutso on me. And, I was able to find CERTS Cool Mint Drops at a drug store we went to beforehand. You have to understand, I am ADDICTED to those mints, and no other store in the area carries them anymore. I was so shocked to see them that I bought all of the packs they had left.

Oh, and I entered in a SB Pool and WON! At the end of the third quarter, the score was 24-14, and I had a square for the 4-4. It'd take too long to explain, but I won $175! YEAH! After taxes (that is, paying the person running the pool and paying my mom back for a couple of things I owe her), that's about $135. I'm gonna have to save it; I rarely have that much extra money. Oh, and by the way, I ALMOST won double that; it came down to the last four minutes of game play.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 8:19 AM | Permalink | Comments

Back to work on 24:AU. Kicking ass. Don't wanta jinx it, so I'm not going to go into detail. Trust me, I'm moving, though.

Posted by JackBauer24 at 9:45 AM | Permalink | Comments